What is a horse's favourite sport? Everyone loves horses and its ride. 81.) 34.) 62.) Q: Where do horses shop for clothes? A: In the bridle suite. What do you call a well-balanced horse?Stable. A: When it's neck and neck. Ive led a full life, the horse answers miraculously. The best horse jokes always include a pun. 5.) If you do, we have the perfect list of horse puns and jokes for you! They will always take offense! What kind of dog has a bark but no bite. Make sure to check out our other posts for more hilarious content and entertainment! When do vampires like horse racing?When its neck and neck. Here they are: 56.) The jokes within this collection are fun, light, and kid-friendly. Here are some of our favorite dad jokes about horses that are also awesome horse jokes for adults and kids to be told! Years later, I joined the mounted police force in New York and helped keep the city clean. Why do seahorses live in saltwater. What do you call an Amish guy with his hand in a horses mouth?A mechanic. A: A night mare. A: Fiddler on the hoof. (broken is used to describe when a horse is trained). What are a horses favorite sports?Stable tennis and barn ball. However, these creatures can sleep either standing up or lying down. Thanks for reading these funny horse jokes for kids. 14.) There are so many amusing things that may occur in a barn, especially when horses are present! My neighbor has a horse that has an explosive pace. It was pasture bedtime! As the engine sputters and shuts down the woman driving the car steers toward a nearby driveway and honks the horn hoping to get the attention of a guy herding cattle in the distance. A child who needs a good laugh? Not only are these horse jokes silly and fun, but they are kid friendly and safe for all ages. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio. ), 67 Funniest Football Jokes to Kick It Off with Your Friends. A: A buck. 18.) Here is our top list of horse dad jokes. There was a government-employed doctor in our area who was half man and half horse. A: He was a disk jockey from Filly. A: Bonnie and Clydesdale. How is this possible?The horses name was Friday.Horses are so negative.All they do is neigh.Where do horses stay after they get married?The bridle suite.This one horse always has a bad attitude.She keeps saying, Neigh.How do you get a wild horse to accept a halter?You turn the stables on him.Why did the little pony wake up scared?It had a night-mare!Why was the horse naked?Because the jockey fell off.If I ever get a horse, Im naming him Jesus.Then I can say to people I lead him to water, but couldnt make Him walk on it.What song makes a horse want to get up and dance?Watch me whipwatch me neigh, neigh! Shows. They will laugh from the depth of their heart. We've got the silliest Horse Jokes in town! Have fun having a laugh! Youve come to the right spot if you want to be the one who tells the greatest horse jokes! Horses are herbivores (plant eaters). Check out these fun links. Now onto some more horse jokes. A Sherbet! Some kind of animal!. Because pepper water makes them sneeze. 65.) What happened when they invited the controversial speaker on horses? He was from the centaur for disease control. Never search for clean Halloween jokes again Download them now instead. What do you call a horse that lives next door? 29.) It gives you a bunch of short horse jokes for kids that you can use at home with the family or on those long car journeys. en Pistol switched from a mix of 12% and alfalfa pellets to Nutrena SafeChoice Senior. What did the horse grow in her garden?Horse radishes. A: Its pasture your bedtime. A car cruising down a rural country suddenly backfires. Some of your non-horsey friends may become bored hearing about your latest tack buy, so tell them a funny joke, preferably a horse joke! What does it mean if you find a horseshoe? What do you call a horse thats good at riding? Where do horses go when theyre sick?The horse-pital. What is a cats favorite breakfast. How do you save a horse possessed by an evil spirit?Perform an ex-horse-ism. Q: Where do Knights park their horses? We hope so that reading this article of horse jokes was fun for you. Lets continue our list with a few short horse jokes that are a bit different. These 65+ Horse Puns And Jokes Are Hay-larious. 25.) Riddle: Where do horses live? Chardon-hay 31 Best Horse Jokes: Funniest Picks (Horse Puns Included!) Thats not a lion thats a horse. The stubborn teacher snorted and said, "It would be-hoof you to pay attention." He had bad stable manners. A: Ralph Neigh-der. We dont horse around when it comes to horse jokes (same with why did the chicken cross the road? jokes). Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude?She always said, Neigh.. What does it mean if you find a horseshoe?Some poor horse is walking around in his socks. ***. Youre riding a horse full speed, theres a giraffe right beside you, and a lion behind you. WE ARE A PARTICIPANT IN THE AMAZON SERVICES LLC ASSOCIATES PROGRAM, AN AFFILIATE ADVERTISING PROGRAM DESIGNED TO PROVIDE A MEANS FOR US TO EARN FEES BY LINKING TO AMAZON.COM AND OTHER AFFILIATED SITES. 3. From puppies in the park to the bunny rabbits that dominate the most beloved storybooks, many of the first words children learn are the names of animals from the cat in the house to the giraffe far, far away. A: He says neigh to everything. Its not that stable of an income! A. 58.) 242 Funny Animal Jokes That Will Drive You Wild With Laughter. 1. What do we call a pony who has a sore throat? There once lived a family of balloons, there was: A mommy balloon, a daddy balloon and a kid balloon. Humorous horses and their funny stories are the focus of these dirty horse jokes! At this point, the horses notice a greyhound who has been sitting there listening. A: They game him a nice troughy. The longest living horse in wild as of 1974 was 36 years. 54.) 67.) Riddle: A pig lives in a pig farm, a cow lives in a cow farm, a sheep lives in a sheep farm, a chiken lives in a chiken farm. Stable tennis. Q: How much money did the rodeo bronco have? 82.) Kids often tell a joke and giggle hysterically, but often they dont really understand why the joke is even funny. My horse loves music! How do you treat a horse who has a cold? Q: Where do horses stay at night when they travel? The barman confuses idioms with jokes and offers him a glass of water, but cant make him drink.What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!Which type of cheese do horses like best?Masc-a-ponyWhat do you give a horse with a sore throat?Cough stirrup.Why was the horse feeling so stressed?It was saddled with responsibility!How can you tell a police horse from a normal horse? Disclaimer: If that really happens, we are not responsible, and you should go and visit the nearest horsepital. Because they grew up in a stable household! What do you call a horse that never loses a race? A. A talking horse!What do you call it when a racehorse has diarrhea?The trots!Do you know why horse stalls at the racetrack are labelled A, B, D, E, and F?Because no one wants to bet on a seahorse.My wife and kids are leaving me because they say Im obsessed with Horse Racing.Im looking out the window at them now.. and theyre off..I bought a racehorse todayI called him My Face. The little pony dreamt of joining the Air Horse one day. A race horse who has never won is told by his jockey that if he doesnt win that day, hes going to have to start pulling the milk wagon early next morning. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Itll give you a night-mare! A: A sawhorse. A: At Old Neighvy. Are you looking for horse jokes for kids with puns? Then this collection of top horse jokes for kids is perfect for them. READ: Must-Know Tips for Effective Parenting 2. (In a whisper), your neigh-bor. Whos there?Horsp. What do horses say when their food gets stolen?Hay come back! 100 years ago everyone owned a horse and only the rich had cars. They might be a little hoarse! 35.) All his jokes were about bad mare-ages. "A _____ walks into a bar" is a common start to a joke. Neigh-braska Horses living in Neigh-braska are lucky. What happens when a horse forgets its umbrella?It gets wet. Why couldnt the pony sing. These elephant jokes will get you a ton of laughs! 10.) The next day he rode back on Friday. Have you heard about the jockey who couldnt find a horse? How did the pony get the bugs away. Most horses are domesticated, which means they live alongside humans. After a couple of days they'll ask for your feed back. Why did the pony yell?He wanted to be herd. December 2008 (1) November 2008 (4) October 2008 (5) September 2008 (1) August 2008 (3) Where do horses live in a city? Q: What do horses see before thunder? Prepare yourself for hours of laughter with this collection of horse jokes for kids. How long should a horses legs be?Long enough to reach the ground. Cant get enough horse jokes? That isnt to say that we equine enthusiasts dont enjoy a good laugh now and then. Youll find more funny jokes for kids here: 2017-2023 Michael & Gabriel, Inc. - All Rights Reserved. Yes please, says the horse. A: The Horsea Shore. Where do horses live map. What do you call a horse that cant lose a race?Sherbet.Whats black and white and eats like a horse?A zebra.Why should you never be rude to a jump jockey?In case he takes offence.What makes a horse sneeze?Hay fever.Rein it in with the gossip!Youll stirrup trouble.What sort of horses come out after dark?NightmaresWhy did the man stand behind the horse?He was hoping to get a kick out of it.Horses favourite vintage TV chef?Fanny Paddock.Look at that horses new boyfriend.Hes such a stud!What do you call a horse that lives next door to you?A neigh-bor.Horses favourite pop duo?Stall and Oats!Where do horses get their hair done?At the hair saloon.Whats a horses favourite TV show?Neighbours of course.I named my horse Mayo.Sometimes, Mayo-neighs. Why dont you try the circus?, The horse nickers. What do you call a horse that likes to stay up late? 1K. What street do horses like to live on? Yeah, before that race, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters., The other horse says, Funny, I felt a pinch in my hindquarters before the race that I won., A dog walking by says, You idiots, youre being doped. Why did the horse eat with its mouth open? 22.) Do you know the hardest part about horse racing? A: The ground. Where do horses live in Harry Potter. Did you hear about the horse that cheated in the derby? The horse replies: I cant! Here you'll find almost 200 funny jokes for kids to get your little ones laughing out loud. 11.) EXPLANATION: The sound a horse makes is neigh, which is part of the word neighborhood. Being a cowboy is actually a lot of fun, which may explain why there are so many cowboy jokes. The waiter says, "Hey.". Whats the difference between a horse and the weather?One reigns up and one rains down! Knock Knock Knock. What do horses see before thunder. Q: Why was Dick Clark so popular with horses? Owning a horse can be serious business. The post 17 Horse Jokes You Can't Help but Laugh At appeared first on Reader's Digest. If it were a real joke and the _____ is a horse, the horse would probably talk and do other human things. Have you heard the story about the horse that ran away? A: Horse doeuvres. Horses living in the wild survive in relatively severe conditions, within arid and semi-arid plains, grasslands, prairies, deserts, and badlands. A: It bucked. A: A nightmare. See, it's hard to pin down what makes Bargatze funny, but whatever it is, it's all in that six-minute story. Of course, those long faces and giant teeth can lend to some pretty good belly laughs, too. What did the waiter say to the horse?Can I get you a stable? Excuse me, good sir, the horse says, are you hiring?, The manager looks the horse up and down and says, Sorry, pal. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe? 75.) A. Did you hear about Cinderellas horse?Once upony time. Q. Q: What kind of stories do depressed horses tell? Race it, replies the jockey, surprised. A guy is walking through the country when he spots a sign that reads, Talking Horse for Sale. Intrigued, he walks up to the stable to check it out. JOKE: Where do horses live? Whos there? The outside. Where do horses live joke. Riddle: Whats as big as a horse, but weighs nothing? A: He liked being a herd animal. A horse was euthanised following a fall in the third race on the final day of the Aintree Festival. 33.) Who isnt an upside-down horseshoe good luck for?The horse who lost it! Tell them to stop being so a-hoof. Where do horses live in a city? Dont miss these duck jokes thatll surely quack you up. Q. 80.) Q. A. She swears her neighbor is in a colt! Although the awkward dad joke silence must have been ringing in your ears, we hope you found a horse pun or two that you can use the next time you go to the stables. Saddle up and enjoy! 4.) His life coach told him to get off his high horse. "When bought my 21-year-old AQHA in February of 2021 he was being fed a basic 12% feed with alfalfa pellets mixed in. Its a real tale of whoa. I was going to ship a small horse using UPS, but decided to use the Pony Express instead. Q. vocabulary, Previous post: Idiom of the Week: Its raining cats and dogs. This blog is brought to you by Diagnostic Imaging Systems. 79.) Where do you find a horse with no legs?Where you left him. 98.) 77.) 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 160 Hilarious Wife Jokes to Spark Joy in Your Marriage, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Horses that have been tamed usually live to be around 25 years old. You may even find that some of them will have you laughing out loud. Q: How is an egg like a young horse? When does a horse talk. When the race begins, the horse is asleep! Whos there? Q: Which baseball team frightens horses the most? Why did the foal have to go to sleep? So if your child is in need of a belly laugh or two, read on and prepare to be . Horses such as the mustang also range throughout North America. Oh its just a horse counting. A: A seahorse. Where do horses live. What did the horse say when it fell?Ive fallen and I cant giddyup!. You got shit all over your lips! The cowboy, cool as can be, takes a stiff drink before answering. Shows. I heard it from my brother The other boy was curious so he agreed and said yes. Q: How do horses from Alabama greet horses from Ohio? Comments sorted by Best Top New Controversial Q&A Add a Comment [deleted] . His favorite song is A Crazy Thing Colt Love. A: The Diamondbacks. Because he was a little hoarse. The sound the horse makes is called a neigh. Horses have around 205 bones in their skeleton. We got over 77 hilarious clean horse jokes you can share with friends and family. A talking horse walks into a bar and approaches the manager. What does it mean when you find a horseshoe on the ground? A person who overheard him suggested that he measure both horses to see which one was taller. In a bar, a horse walks in. From animals one-liners to food puns and anything gross in between, this list covers all bases on what kids find hilarious. However, the oldest domestic horse on record was Old Billy, who died at the age of 62. Whos there?Quiet horse. Horses need wide open spaces for defense purposes, and they need some shelter, like trees or cliffs, to protect them from the elements. Why was the racehorse nicknamed News?Everyone knows that news travels fast. Why is the Kentucky Derby always done in the middle of spring? Q: Who is the author of the book The 200-mile Horse Trek? A: Major Bumsore. Q: What do you call a witch horse? 4. With jokes about paso finos and ponies, these jokes are sure to bring a smile to your face. Some wild horses remain, but most are domestic animals used by humans for a variety of reasons. A horse fell into a mud puddleHusbands are like horsesIf youre not riding them, theyre running off.First time i had sex, when the girl pulled my pants down she yelled WOW THATS LIKE A HORSEVery proud i said: Its that big huh?She replied: NO IT FUCKING STINKSA policeman sees a little girl riding her bike and says, Did Santa get you that?Yes, replies the little girl.Well, says the policeman, tell Santa to put a reflector light on it next year, and fines her $5.The girl looks up at the policeman and says, Nice horse youve got there, did Santa bring you that? The policeman chuckles and replies, He sure did!Well, says the little girl, next year, tell Santa the ass goes on the back of the horse and not on top of it.So a cowboy parks his horse at the saloon, ties him to the outside, kisses him on the ass, and walks in to have a stiff drink.The bar keeper saw this happen, and he just had to ask. 83.) Answer: His horses name is Friday. ListCaboodle - Fun, Informative, And Cool Stories In List Format. As you may know,punsare a type of wordplay involving two meanings of the same word, often created for comedic effect. Why did the foal get in trouble at school? Some poor horse is walking around in socks. Transitioning your horse's feed? What is a horses favorite television show? A neigh-bour. The cowboy wipes the sweat off his forehead. Horses also WHINNY and SNORT. A: The Mare. When you tell your child the answer to the joke, be sure to "neigh" as you say the word "neighborhood". Q: What team of horses travel all around the world? Horse jokes for kids and adults? Most horses are domesticated which means they live alongside humans. There are three reasons why horses make such great animals: theyre loyal, theyre intelligent, and, most importantly they can be hilarious. 45.) 99.) He asks the horses owner, Why on earth would you want to get rid of such an incredible animal?, The owner says, Because hes a liar! How does a horse from Kentucky greet another horse? Why are elephants wrinkled. This wouldnt help him at all, he said, because the brown horse was the same size as the white one. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. Every Tuesday at 6:50 and 8:20 we read your best or worst Dad Jokes! I was nervous at first, but she promised me it wasn't a colt. A: With Southern Horspitality. Why did the pony get sent home from school? Almost all wild horses are feral horses that are descended from domesticated horses. How do you get a jockey to wait a moment?Tell him to hold his horses. 26.) Q: Which horse is an advocate for horse safety? Why would the circus need a bartender?. 95.) How do bees brush their hair. These jokes about horses are great horse jokes for kids and adults. Find out the funny answer in today's jokes! Need more animal jokes? How did the cowboy ride into town on Friday, stay for three days, and ride out on Friday?His horses name was Friday! It's little wonder that horses remain one of the most popular animals in the world they're just such an amazing mix of power and beauty. (Yes, we can make as many stable jokes as you wish!). A: Its pasture your bedtime. What is a horses favorite state?Neigh-braska. 36.) I didnt like the horse comedian that much. A: In Maine. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator rises. This is the best collection of Clean Horse Jokes that youll find anywhere. Q. What is a horses favorite sport? Your email address will not be published. Wow! says one, after a hushed silence. Kitchen Night-Mare! Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse? I think it would make sense to call myself a cowboy. A: You name the horse radish. In the N e i g h bourhood . If you dont believe it, you wont until youve run them pasture eyeballs. A: His co-pile-it. Find your favorite puns about horses, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this horse humor with others. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! What looks like half a horse?The other half. Typically, domestic horses have a lifespan of 25 to 30 years, although a maximum of 61 years has been attained. 15.) 55.) These jokes about carrots are great jokes for kids and adults. Heres a collection of horse jokes for kids. If you need a pick-me-up or a little laughter, these 55 horse jokes should do just the trick! Yes, we have the perfect list of horse puns Included!.... Spots a sign that reads, Talking horse walks into a bar & quot ; from the of. 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Perform an ex-horse-ism & amp a... Make sense to call myself a cowboy of spring anything gross in between, this list covers all bases what! Perform an ex-horse-ism the most throughout North America you, and website in this browser for the next time comment! Start to a joke paso finos and ponies, these jokes are sure to out! This browser for the next time I comment horses from Ohio to stay up late frightens horses the most of.